Coffee - Insomnia
by othersider
Summary: Sometimes, one needs a little bit more than coffee. (Part of my Coffee series)


Veg-notables: Andddddd another one. This one is courtesy of Nutty cause she tossed a few lines at me.. So I ran with it. Anything below with a ** bracketing it was provided by her marvelous brain.

Likes and shares are awesome so thanks in advance. Reviews are my inspirational fuel so please feel free to drop a line.. I don't bite ^,.,^

As per the norm.. All typos and mistakes are purely my own.

Special thanks to gumnut-logic for the inspiration and the encouragement.

Part of the Coffee series.

Characters: Virgil, Kayo

Timeline: Post S.O.S part 2

Spoilers - VAYOR (cause these 2 give me life!)

ENJOY!

**Kay walks up behind him with a steaming coffee in her hand**

Catching a whiff of the wonderful aroma - 'cause the man was a bloodhound for coffee, Virgil pulled his head out of the aft VTOL access panel. The large cargo transport was nestled down close to the ground, her massive weight settled on her aviation rubbers. Not her usual pre-flight position but this way made gaining access to her innards and all his tools a hell of a lot easier and only slightly hampered her module load up sequence

**"You're up early." She sipped her coffee knowing what his reaction would likely be. "Anything wrong?"**

Snagging a spanner out of the rolling tool chest, Virgil shrugged a shoulder. "Couldn't sleep" and turned back to what he was working on, swiping the back of his forearm over his brow. Kayo knew from experience how stifling the small, cramped confines could be even in the cooler environs of the hanger. The bead of sweat working its way down the curve of his spine paid testament to that fact

Even with the protective material of his coveralls pulled from his heavy shoulders, the arms tied loosely around his waist, it did little to alleviate the discomfort. Though she had to admit she did enjoy the view because at some point he'd also ditched his shirt.

She briefly lost her train of thought as the over head lighting played across the hard expanse of muscles running up his back. The sinew corded and rippled with movement while he quietly argued with whatever he was working on with such intensity.

**A slight frown, why wasn't he sleeping? But that was quickly replaced by a fond smile as he smeared grease across his forehead. She reached out and brushed a hair off the smear. "Anything you want to talk about?"**

She watched his profile as his lips turned up slightly with the gesture, his head tilting subconsciously to follow her the path of her fingers. Straightening from his task he caught her palm in his and gave it a brief squeeze. "Couldn't shut my brain off." The spanner was tossed haphazardly into the maw of the access hatch and it hit with a dull thump. His frustration at his work was evident in the careless action.

Pulling a rag from his pocket he wiped his hands, leaning back against the great big green beast of a craft. "You might find this surprising but occasionally I actually get up at a 'reasonable' hour." He air quoted, the flex of his biceps causing the muscles to bunch and thicken.

Kayo resisted the urge to snort, his idea of reasonable and everyone else were two vastly different concepts. "If I didn't know you so well I would actually buy that." She looked around at the array of tools and the scattering of miscellaneous parts that littered the usually tidy space. "You've been at this for hours."

Virgil's eyes lost their focus, seeming to stare off into the middle distance. His hands fiddling with the oil stained rag, playing with the tattered fabric as he was drawn inwards in introspection.

Kayo looked down and watched as the the unsweetened brew swirled and trembled in the mug with her minute movements. The distorted reflection of Two wavering and looking back up at her from the cooling beverage like some omnipresent ghost. "I'm a light sleeper. You never came to bed last night." She peered up at him through the loose fall of her hair and watched the series of emotions play across his tired face. The muscles in his jaw flexing as he clenched and unclenched, deep in thought and searching for the appropriate response to her statement. The length of time needed to come up with a viable answer speaking volumes of his level of exhaustion.

Drawing closer, she offered him the still warm mug. He needed it. She'd intended to use it to entice another response out of him, a playful one of teasing but this situation hadn't been what she'd thought it was and it was obvious another approach was needed.

Initially when she'd awoken alone with the sun creeping across the cold sheets on his side of the bed, she'd thought that he had just gotten caught up in his work again. Engineering was more than just a mere job to him. It was a passion that allowed him to use his exquisitely talented mind and his creative soul for projects that aided in their every day work as emergency first responders.

She'd lost track of the amount of times she had found him asleep in random places in and around the villa. So with that thought in mind, she'd headed to the crowded kitchen, ruffling a few heads in passing, grabbed the biggest mug she could find - really the thing was a bucket in disguise, and gone in search for the dark haired Tracy.

What she'd found was definitely far from what she had expected. He was withdrawn and quiet. The usual child like gusto that simmered beneath the surface of his calm exterior when he was tinkering away was absent. This was concerning and alarm bells started ringing loudly in her internal landscape. Klaxons of piercing noise that she couldn't ignore.

She nudged the cup at him again and he absently took it from her outstretched hand, staring into it without really seeing it as the aromatic steam drifted lazily between them.

A shoulder raised again in a shrug and he dropped the tattered remnants of the rag over the lip of the hatch before tucking his arm around his bare torso. An action of self containment that she was well versed in reading in others but was shocked to see being used by the usually self-assured man in front of her. "Lot on my mind, couldn't put it to bed last night. So I came down here."

"Like what?" She queried. It was like pulling teeth with him sometimes but she knew that patience was her best weapon. He would speak only when and if he wanted to do so.

He shook his head, like he was trying to brush it off. "Everything. Bramen, the Hood, Chaos Crew, Gordon...Dad.." He listed off, the last of which hung tensely in the silence. Cloying and heavy with so much more unsaid.

Kayo held her breath, not wanting to discourage him from speaking by jumping on the large, scary topic of the great Jeff Tracy. She'd danced around that subject for years with the Brothers and she knew what buttons could be pushed and which ones should be best left alone.

Virgil was always there for his younger brothers when they needed an ear to listen and a gentle reassuring guidance but when it came to himself, he played things close to the chest. Not wanting to show any sort of weakness for fear of worrying the others.

Well, she'd come against that wall enough times through why he was putting it up around her of all people was beyond her. He showed her so much of himself but for this one thing. The barricade for which he secreted this part of himself from her, sturdy and unmoving no matter how many times she attempted to surpass it.

"Virgil," She placed a reassuring hand on his solid forearm, the flesh unyielding as he tried to clamp down on his emotions. His fist straining and clasped tight against the forced calm he was trying and failing to project. "Don't hide from me."

His brows flinched at being caught out on that but she knew that she had to try to probe the well built wall to get him to open up to her. The need for him to share in his burden spurring her on.

His eyes finally met hers and the raw emotions in them had her catching her breath. "What is it?"

Pushing away from his 'bird, he put the mug down on a workbench, stalked a few steps away and stopped. Hands on hips, his gaze down cast towards the hard floor "I gave up."

"Gave up?" Kayo let the confusion show in her voice. "I don't understand."

"On ever finding Dad." The confession brought rough hands through his hair and he turned back to her with a sudden flash of anger, frustration that she knew was directed solely at himself "I've been lying to everyone. Being supportive. Keeping up an act for everyone, Alan..Gordon.. Scott, but I've been lying for a long time."

Kayo followed him as realization dawned on her. Putting herself in front of him, a nonverbal shout of support for the man that she had years ago unwittingly fallen head over heels for. "And now Braman.." She supplied.

The retrieval of Braman had changed everything for all of them. Jeff Tracy was alive, somewhere in the vastness of space and now they were planning a rescue. Albeit it was crazy, considering the distance and the resources both physically and mentally need for such a task but they were going to attempt a rescue nonetheless.

Virgil gave a weak nod, his shoulders slumping. "I gave up. Resigned myself to the fact that he was dead, let myself grieve and started to pack it away... All this time…I shouldn't have..Dad wouldn't have given up on me if the roles were reversed. He would have moved heaven and earth for us.. Why couldn't I for him? He'd be ashamed.."

"Virgil, you can't blame yourself for this. It was a logical conclusion that all the information we had supported.."

"A Tracy never gives up…" Was his only response. It was the unofficial family motto.

Kayo's heart ached behind her sternum. He'd never whispered a word about any of this to her. He'd been carrying this guilt around for nearly two weeks since the hidden message had been found and she'd had no clue. With just three little letter hidden amongst a sea of codes, they'd all been consumed with new found well spring of hope and an insane plan of action had been decided on.

The time since spent amidst a mad smash up of planning and research and material gathering. Schematics and supply lists. And of course there was Gordon, recovery, repairs to Four.. in all that time she'd never had the faintest clue that the fervid hope that had overtaken the island hadn't in fact been felt by all.

Cupping his cheeks, her ran her thumbs across the dark smudges of guilt that hung doggedly below his eyes and turned his face up to hers. Her lips brushing at his smeared forehead. "Virgil, you are a good man. No matter what. This, " She stated pointing around at their surroundings, "Is all proof of that and more. Even not knowing what had become of your father all those years ago, you still kept going. No matter the cost or the sacrifice and that makes you a good man. Your father would be proud at what you have accomplished, how many lives you've saved with all that you and your brothers have lost. Never doubt that."

She paused, leaning her forehead against his. "But, you are still human." Fallible, ambivalent. Mortal. Traits that they all carried within them, "Don't let this tear you down." She hoped that it wouldn't, prayed fervently that he could and would push past it. Find the strength she knew he had and use this to fuel him to be even better than what he was. Now though, was not the time to lecture him.

She stood silent before him, her head to his own and looked across the short distance. A distance tiny in actuality but which felt vaster than she had ever felt before. This man, this loving, caring savior of others carried with him a great many weights and all she wanted, wished with everything within her was to help hold him up and ease his burdens like he did for all of them.

Regarding him with his eye held closed, he brow low she knew that her words would stir within him, churn the swirling self doubt and contempt he hid away from everyone. His body quivering slightly as he breathed in haltingly, trying desperately to once again find the safe harbour within himself.

She knew once the storm had calmed and the torrent of emotions had stilled, he would examine what she said and compare them against his own self image. Assess and reconstruct and disassemble so that he could try and bring himself back up to an even keel. It would take time and patience and her love to guide him through it but she would be there for him for as long as he needed her.

With another shaky breath, lips grazing hers own, his words fanned her hope and the sun strained to break through the clouds. "I love you."

Softly smiling she took his stained hand, she gave a gentle tug. With her coaxing she knew that sleep for him would finally come and she lead him away from the unfinished work, the disarray of tools and parts, the mess of everything that he'd pulled out and scattered about.

With a sympathetic look and a love that emboldened, she pulled him forwards. Towards the heart of the home where she hoped sleep would find him.

The mug of coffee left forgotten and chilled on the scuffed surface as their footfalls echoed across the great, hollow expanse that was his Father's dream.

The End.


End file.
